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HERO IMAGE
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Anxiety

Do you ever feel like your being crushed by the weight of the world? So smashed and defeated? 

Like your sinking deep into nothing and for a slight second you think your OK but your not? You make no effort to make your way back up? If you just sunk... then what makes you swim back up, why would you? 

Would anyone really care anyway? Would you cry for me? Would you check on me , even when you don't check on me now? 

Does your ending point Actually End? 

So afraid of the world that you hide? You obsess and you pull your hair out with worry? You cry and your heart won't stop pounding out of your chest. You can't breath, your mouth is on mute, your disabled from the simple things? 

Do you throw something away and wonder where, how it will end up?
Do you have conversations and then wonder if you said everything right?
Do you lay awake at night thinking of everything and nothing at all?

This last for days, weeks even?  You are present but it is more like an out-of-body experience. Watching yourself live and obsessively evaluating everything that happens...Every minute, Every second for days or weeks at a time!

Isn't it better just to avoid people? Stay in your own little world?

Soon do you just become numb?
Does this numbness last for days? Until you can talk yourself normal again?!

Is this you?? Do you feel this??

-----------------------

THIS IS ME

This is called My anxiety. My panic attacks. Depression...

It creeps in - They hit hard - They take over - They kill me -
But they will not win!

This feeling is no joke. I am an up and down roller coaster.
For the most part I have been up but it happens...Its life!

Yes I find it, at this moment, a little scary to talk about. My heart is pounding. My thoughts are running wild with the "What ifs" "What happens" "Am I sure"...Because in my mind I worry.Its strange actually, one day I couldn't care less and others I care too much!

BUT the more important matter is that this is an issue that is very common place.

Many sufferers are far worse off then I. 
AND
Many others who will never understand it.

I do not take pills , nor do I want to. I fight this battle on my own. I am 30 years old now. Since I was 12 I have suffered major bouts of this.  Luckily I have never caved in. I like to say that I have learned to control it. Mind Over Matter! Stronger because of it!

My soul is my body. My mind is my soul.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and never pretend to be anything I am not. Pretending only makes it worse. I own me. I own all my feelings, all my emotions AND yes when I am not feeling good, you may know. I cant hide it.....Nor do I want to.

If you ask what is wrong, I will tell you.

I am not perfect and neither are you. We may be different but that is OK!
I love who I am. I embrace who I am. I want others to know that they are not alone.  

Talk to yourself. Be weird and different. Stay in touch with your feelings and if you need to stay away from the world for a day or two...Do It!
Then do what you feel is your release.

Mine is writing, reading, meditation, talking to myself, and more recently re-doing my whole house because Hey this is my work space and I need to feel good about it !

They say that the most talented people are the ones who suffer the most! The crazy ones! The ones no one else can understand!

Your Smarter, Wiser, Intuitive, Energized, Stronger, Artistic then the average person.....#justsayin  




2 comments:

  1. I feel like we are the same person. This is perfect. I love it when I'm about to fall to my knees and give up and someone days to me "just get over it". This hurts more because no one understand what I'm going through. I've stopped talking about my anxiety aroubd friends & some family just because they tell me to stop whining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leslie, I felt the same way when I read your post. If you ever need to talk to I am always open. It is a silent subject that no one seems to want to acknowledge but that why it is up to us to use our voice to let other know we are not alone!
      Thank you for reading and commenting. xo

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